Don't take it too seriously: play protects you from burnout

I've had clients freak out and yell. I've heard people talk badly about my team when they thought they were on mute. I've burned out. When everything feels high stakes, every hit stings, and the stings add up. A little silliness is how I keep coming back, at work and in the garden.

Lower the stakes on purpose

Treat the work a bit like a game and a miss becomes a story instead of a verdict. You still care about the result. You just stop carrying every setback like it says something about you.

In the garden

• Grow one ridiculous thing a year: a pumpkin with no plan for where it will go, a purple cauliflower, a sunflower taller than the fence.
• Hold a family contest for the ugliest carrot. Little kids are excellent judges.
• When the squash vine borers win, pull the plant, say a few words and sow something else.

At work

• Give the project a fun code name.
• Celebrate the red light that got a countermeasure fast. It means the system is working.
• Hand out a "best flop of the month." The lesson is the prize.

Find the humor, even if it takes a while

Some things aren't funny yet. I once planted a whole bed of radishes, and voles ate them from below. They disappeared overnight, every one. My corn produced exactly one ear, and it wasn't edible. My potatoes came up tiny. The list goes on and on. None of that was funny the day it happened. Give it time. Most of them turn into a good story once the sting fades, and you can help it along by asking, "What's the funny part of this?"

Look for glimmers too. Therapist Deb Dana uses that word for small moments that make you feel safe or good, like the first ripe strawberry or a coworker's "nice catch." My favorite: my preschooler's best part of gardening is watering the plants with the hose and then making it rain on me. Even when the water is freezing, I can't stop giggling. It takes me right back to being a kid. Humor and glimmers let you learn from a mistake without bullying yourself over it. You can't learn much while you're busy beating yourself up.

Serious about results, light about the process

Play isn't carelessness. The work still gets planned, checked and finished. It just doesn't have to feel heavy.